Several years ago, my boyfriend and I were bumped from a return flight after a vacation. We were the fortunate guests who got to spend an extra night in town. After the inconvenience of getting settled back in to a hotel, we wandered over to a nearby bar to get some food.
It was Friday night and the place was packed. He went to order while I hunted the prey that would become our table for the evening. While I waited, I partook in one of my favorite pastimes, people watching.
Being a serial monogamist, I don’t spend too much time in bars, but the whole experience fascinates me. As an observer. Were I to be in a mix, I’d be a bundle of social anxiety.
I watched as girls, who dressed up and came out in their best outfit, ignored the guys who were speaking to them, then complain that the place was lame and hit the door.
I watched as guys approached the girls who were most likely to ignore them, while walking right past the very approachable ones.
When the boyfriend returned, I made the comment, “they are all looking for what we have.”
Not to say that our relationship is without its difficulties. Any time two people spend any time together, there is bound to be issues. What he and I share is a deep connection. We know each others deepest darkest secrets, and we are closer because of it.
I remember very clearly the moment he tried to scare me away. We were a couple of months in to our relationship and he said words to me, that I am quite sure he had never spoken out loud before. He was telling me his secrets. Something amazing happens when you are in that moment. When someone lays bare their soul and you choose to take a step closer, you don’t become closer by the step, it is exponential. When I opened up that space for him, we both stepped in. He has returned the favor to me on several occasions. He allows me to say the words that I would normally hide away.
My daily awesomer hack is this, invite people in to your mess. Connect on a deeper level. When a friend asks how you are. Tell them the real truth. Will this get your heart broken? Probably, so use this hack cautiously. Don’t just go around casting your peals before swine, but when the time is right, and a person has earned the invitation, don’t hold back.
Until next time, be awesome!
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