How to Lose 1,000 Pounds Intro

Ok, so I finally find a catchy title, and it’s not really applicable to 99% of the population.  VERY few people really need to lose 1,000 pounds. While my suggestions may help in that process, they will need a professional involved.

So, why that title.  Other than it’s catchy?

Well, my philosophy around weight loss is there is really not one way to do it.  What works for me, (intermittent fasting, running, not drinking Coke, getting divorced) may not work for you.  I’m never going to drink a green smoothy, but some people love them.  I’m never going to workout in a typical gym.  I’m never going to let a personal trainer yell at me to keep going until I barf. So, what I really mean, is there are a thousand ways to lose a pound.  But that sounded more boring.

Each Wednesday I will break down one way to lose a pound.  How far do you have to walk? How many sodas do you not have to drink? If you get divorced, will you lose weight too? I’ll talk about fasting. Surgery. Ingesting tape worms, because that’s a thing too, apparently.

I look forward to this journey with you and would love to know if you have success with any of my suggestions.

Until next time, be awesome.

Annie is a fitness and nutrition UNstructor. She has an affinity to help the PE dropout return to fitness by making it fun.  Annie opened her studio, Total Rebel Yoga, in 2017 and offers health coaching, personal training, and fitness classes, including Trapeze Yoga.

Let’s Have a Baby

Happy 10th day of 2018 people.

How are those resolutions coming along?

Some exceeding expectations? Some already forgotten?

2018 is just a baby. The possibilities are endless at this point.

We love babies. Babies are blank slates of endless possibility. Charles Manson was once a cute little bundle of blank slate.  So was George Washington, and Brad Pitt.

So were we all.

When we see babies we see potential, and legacy, and our future. We look past the sleepless nights, and the poop explosions, and the pain of childbirth and we see possibility.

Why is it that we don’t look at our own ideas like this. We have all had ideas that we fell in love with. Ideas that would change the world. Ideas that start out as little bundles of sleepless nights and stinky diapers and can grow up to be anything and for some reason we go straight to thinking they are Charles Manson, and we lock them away and never let them see the light of day.

What if, instead, we were to let them grow up just a little? Let them crawl, and walk, and someday maybe run.

What ideas are you conceiving, and gestating, and birthing? What ideas are you having fun with? Which ones are causing you excruciating pain right now? Which ones are being bratty teens that you hope move out and get a job soon?

In my attempt at Becoming Awesomer, I want to treat my ideas like a brand new baby. Something with endless possibility. Something that will grow up and take on a life of its own some day.

I encourage to do the same.

Until next time, be awesome!

New Year! New Me! Not Yet?

Well, it’s January 3, 2018 and I have failed at every single resolution I made for this year.

Million dollars? Nope, not even close.

Lose 40 lbs? Nope, I think I gained some weight.

Be happier?  What does that even mean? Be happier as compared to when?

Get my finances in order? Bwahahahahaha omg OK, I shouldn’t laugh. I mean how hard is it to keep track of seven dollars?

Let me check my list to see where else I’ve failed.

Physical goals, well I want to put my foot behind my head.  Haven’t done that.

Emotional goals, that would be happier, right? Still, don’t know.

Financial goals, relationship goals, business goals, heart goals, healing goals.

How could I have failed in so many areas so quickly?

So, what’s the deal with resolutions? Why do we make them? Do they affect change? When do we know we’ve succeeded or failed? When do they fall off the radar?

As a health and wellness coach, I can tell you that EVERYONE resolves to be healthier in the New Year, and yet we all find ourselves back in the very same place a year later, only with bigger aspirations as our ASSpiration got a little bigger again this year.

Here is what I have learned since I made my first mini-resolution over 10 years ago. I’m not going to bore you with SMART because people don’t even listen to fancy words that spell it out for you.

What I have learned is that you need an immediate win. As immediate as you can make it. Let’s say a resolution of yours is to eat at home more. Well, you don’t want to immediately go from 20 meals out a week to 20 meals in.  Let’s be realistic. Start with eating in once a week in January. If that works, bump it up to twice in February.  There isn’t a rule saying you can’t make it three times a week sometimes, but you want to be able to reach your short term goal EVERY TIME.  The wins will build on themselves and then you can stretch them.  Don’t start with the end.  Start with the end in mind.

If you want to lose 40 lbs. don’t start with that as a goal. Start with two if that’s what it takes to keep you focused.  I will lose two pounds this week seems pretty immediate and attainable, where 40 pounds this year, seems like a problem for September Annie.  2 pounds this week and every week will get you to 40 lbs by June ish.

I have eight categories I’m always working on.  There is no way I can stay focused and motivated by all of them all the time. Right now, I have to be focused on business.  I’m in the building phase of my coaching, and yoga. I am also making my healing a high priority for this year. For those of you who haven’t yet been introduced to my story, I was abused as a child. As the years go on, I realize how much it affects me. My default feeling is fear, which I only recently realized. The more I address it, the more it falls away. When it falls away for the last time, it will create so much more room in my life I’ll be able to take on more other stuff.

As much as I would like to sell you a coaching package and tell you that I can guaran damn tee that you will reach all of your goals after six easy payments of $1,000 I also know that you have to be in a place where you are ready to do that work. You have to be clear on what you want. You have to be clear on where you are at the moment. Then you can work on the stuff that is keeping you from getting from here to there. You don’t have to get there today. If you take a step closer you have succeeded.

Until next time, be awesome!

Everything is Copy

OK, so I’m about 40 years late to the Nora Ephron train, but that woman was spectacular.

Her favorite saying, and the documentary of her life, is “Everything is Copy”.

She posited that if you slip on a banana the world laughs at you and you are a victim, but, if you tell the story of yourself slipping on the banana you then become the hero of the story.

Which is what she did when her marriages failed.

She was a remarkable woman.

How do I learn from this?

What stories in my life am I playing the victim? How do I tell those stories to become the hero?

I feel that talking about my abuse has empowered me. I’m not the hero yet. But add this to the other things I’ve learned and I’m on my way.

Another thing I’ve learned this week is that people can only hurt you once.  After that, it’s you allowing them. Let’s say someone were to call me ugly. Ha ha right? I’m beautiful, and that wouldn’t hurt me, but there are definitely other soft spots for me. But let’s just say that they did, and it hurt me.

How do I deal with that?

First, is it true? Am I ugly.  This is an easy one for me. No. Moving on.

But that’s not how it usually works. How it usually works is that someone calls you ugly and you start obsessing over it. It’s probably my nose, I’ve always hated it. Or maybe it’s my eyes, or my hair color or style or the fact that I’m fat.  Three days later you’re in the plastic surgeons office getting a consult and guess what? They’ve moved on. They have literally given it zero more thought.  The only thing they did was pass the bully baton to you and you in turn took it and beat yourself senseless with it.

So, no longer will I accept the bully baton.

How am I going to go about doing this? Brainstorming here, as there are no best practices in place yet.

My first question for fears and hurts is always, “Is this true?” This practice came to me almost six years ago and it literally shifted my entire life. I realized my biggest fear was a big fat lie. Not saying that I’m perfect, but when I do apply it, it always helps.

So, what should my second question be? Let’s say it is true, or that maybe I’m not sure if it’s true. Let’s say I’m not confident in my looks, “Is it true that I’m ugly?” Hmmmm? I’m not sure.

The anti bully thing to do would be to turn that around and ask them. You’ll recall from my earlier scenario that I went and spent days obsessing about WHY did he say I’m ugly? Is it my hair, my nose, my eyes, my chin(s)? I think it would be great to be able to ask someone who just told me that I’m ugly why they thought so. “What exactly is it that you find ugly about me?”

Well, if that doesn’t shut them up, maybe they’ll tell you.  How’s that for turning an embarrassing slip on the proverbial banana peel into you becoming the hero of the story?

So, from now on, in addition to asking “Is it true?” I’m going to seek more details. Maybe it will be like when a guy once told me I had ugly feet. I wasn’t sure why he’d say that, so I asked. He didn’t like the lack of pedicure, which I grew up in Wyoming, my feet were in snow boots 300 days a year. Now, my friend (whose former husband had a foot thing) tells me I have stupidly sexy feet. Problem solved.

I can’t claim to be the hero of that story though. I wasn’t asking why he thought my feet were nasty for my own benefit, I was asking so I could make him like me more. Maybe the ends justify the means, I don’t know.  From now on, I’ll take it as a position of power and self knowledge.

So, “Is it true?” No. Then fuck off.

Maybe? Get more information. Maybe you can better yourself, maybe they are just trying to give you the bully baton and watch you beat yourself up over it.  If the former, you’ve bettered yourself, if the latter, fuck off.  As Brene’ Brown says, I will not negotiate my worth with you. I know who I am. I know the people who care about me. Those are the only opinions about me who matter to me.  If you would like your opinion to matter of me, earn your way into my inner circle. Otherwise. Fuck off.


Things that made me smile today

OK – I am all about the awesome and making more of it and sharing it and encouraging you to find your own so that we aren’t in a co-dependent relationship. I hardly know you.

Here are some of the things that made me smile today.

First. Rock, or is it The Rock? is upset that he isn’t the sexiest man alive.

I mean really. Who decides these things?  Well, I know The Rock decided he was upset about it, but who gets to determine the sexiest man alive.  Was there a poll?  I missed. it. I’ve never gotten gooey over The Rock. Dude your first name is The. What I find sexy is different than what you find sexy.

Anyway, that made me smile. I’m happy that The Rock doesn’t have bigger issues in his life to worry about right now.

2017 Xmas Tree

This tree is making me smile. It’s twinkly and perfect.  It’s my first jointly owned tree since my divorce and everything about it makes me smile.  You’ll notice we already opened the presents as we aren’t going to be together on Christmas.

Speaking of opening the presents. The other thing that made me smile was my gift.  It is a Joule. Which when I opened it, I wasn’t sure what it was.

It’s a sous vide. They are all the rage right now.  Sous vide, for those who don’t know, is French for vacuum cooking, or something.  Idk but it’s delicious. You put your food in a ziplock bag, lower the bag and the Joule in the water, open the Joule app on your phone, tell it what your cooking, push the button and come back 3-48 hours later and you have the most delicious food ever. EVER. We had pork tenderloin last night that was like butter.

I watched Kyle Cease Limitation Game today.  When JP Sears and he were on stage together.  Big smile.  Love them both.

Oh, and MeUndies has a new print. Fireworks.  You know I’m going to get me some of those.

What about you? What made you smile today?


Is it time for New Year’s resolutions yet?

I know. I know.  Resolutions suck. They last for all of three days and then they are forgotten like last weeks deli sammich. You remember you stuffed it behind the pickles, then a week later you throw it out half eaten.

Today I re-remembered that life isn’t an all or nothing endeavor. It’s mountains and valleys and side roads, and shiny roadside squirrels.

I also remembered 2011 when I had a stupid idea and did pushups for a year and people laughed but people still associate me with pushups.

This is where my shoulder devil reminds me of my two failed marriages. You can’t even get that right. Well, shoulder devil. Marriage is hard. And I’ve got issues.

So, stfu.

My friend reminded me that you just have to keep throwing shit out into the universe and seeing what comes back. So, my next adventure is going to be #annie365 – a year in the life of annie.

I’m going to show up every day and see what the universe has for me. See where it will take me.

Unlike a NY resolution, I’m making monthly resolutions. I have questions. Let’s see how the universe answers them. I have answers. Let’s see if the universe questions them.

I have less than two weeks to get my shit together. Haha, jokes on me.  My shit won’t be together.  I’m going to show up anyway and see what happens.

Until next time, be awesome!