Why Is There So Much Shame in Health And Wellness?

Health and wellness is often mistaken for diet and fitness, they are completely different.

Diet and fitness is so shrouded in shame. I want nothing to do with that. To me, diet and fitness screams “you aren’t good enough”.  “We live in a perfect world, and you don’t belong.”

Diet and fitness is so consumed with being right, it’s afraid to admit when it’s wrong. Continue reading “Why Is There So Much Shame in Health And Wellness?”


Over the past nine months of my biohacking journey, I have tried all sorts of new and interesting foods. I’ll admit that I am kind of very stubborn when it comes to food. I was raised on a strict diet of Spaghetios and Pepsi so you can imagine that kimchi was nowhere on my radar. Continue reading “Kimchi”

Wise Counsel vs Unsolicited Opinion

Have you ever heard the story of the grandpa, the boy, and the donkey? The grandpa and the boy were taking the donkey to town to sell. They started out walking alongside the donkey. They passed some people on the road and overheard them say, “Such a shame. That perfectly good donkey, and he’s making that little boy walk.” So that grandpa hoisted the boy onto the donkey and they went on down the road.

They crossed paths with another group of people, “Such a shame, that strong little boy riding the donkey and making his dear old grandpa walk.” So the grandpa climbed on and they both rode on down the road.

As they passed another group, the grandpa overheard, “Such a shame, they are going to ride that donkey to town and it won’t be worth a dime by the time it arrives.” So, the grandpa and the boy got down from the donkey, and they picked up the donkey and carried it on down the road.

At this point they came to a narrow bridge, halfway across the boy tripped and the donkey went flying over the railing and plummeted to his death.

The moral of the story is, if you listen to what everyone thinks you should do, you will lose your ass.

I look back over my own story, and think of all the times I did what others thought I should do. Those were the times I was the least happy. It’s not that I am not open to wise counsel, but when I, in my heart of hearts knew I needed to go in another direction, and followed that well meaning, wise counsel and lost my ass.

Bottom line, is, IT’S MY ASS. If I want to walk it, or ride it, or carry it on my back, those are my decisions to make. The same goes for you. Unless they are willing to carry your ass with you, their opinions about what you should do, are just that. Opinions. You are responsible for getting your ass to market and getting paid.

Until next time, be awesome!

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There IS No Secret Ingredient

Several weeks ago, I heard a grown man cry while relaying the story of how Kung Fu Panda changed his life.

Profound changes in our lives often come from the most interesting places.

Finally got around to watching it, though it is currently on its third iteration in theaters.

Take aways.

  • Your parents dream may conflict with your own.
  • When you plant a peach seed you get a peach tree.
  • It is very difficult to bear the weight of others expectations.
  • Sometimes the only thing special about something is the belief that it is special.
  • Sometimes we don’t even know what it is we are chasing, don’t let the dream of nothing become a prison.
  • Other people may not understand, appreciate, like, befriend, or accept you. Keep being you.
  • There are no accidents.

Go be you.


Several years ago, my boyfriend and I were bumped from a return flight after a vacation. We were the fortunate guests who got to spend an extra night in town. After the inconvenience of getting settled back in to a hotel, we wandered over to a nearby bar to get some food.

It was Friday night and the place was packed. He went to order while I hunted the prey that would become our table for the evening. While I waited, I partook in one of my favorite pastimes, people watching.

Being a serial monogamist, I don’t spend too much time in bars, but the whole experience fascinates me. As an observer. Were I to be in a mix, I’d be a bundle of social anxiety.

I watched as girls, who dressed up and came out in their best outfit, ignored the guys who were speaking to them, then complain that the place was lame and hit the door.

I watched as guys approached the girls who were most likely to ignore them, while walking right past the very approachable ones.

When the boyfriend returned, I made the comment, “they are all looking for what we have.”

Not to say that our relationship is without its difficulties. Any time two people spend any time together, there is bound to be issues. What he and I share is a deep connection. We know each others deepest darkest secrets, and we are closer because of it.

I remember very clearly the moment he tried to scare me away. We were a couple of months in to our relationship and he said words to me, that I am quite sure he had never spoken out loud before. He was telling me his secrets. Something amazing happens when you are in that moment. When someone lays bare their soul and you choose to take a step closer, you don’t become closer by the step, it is exponential. When I opened up that space for him, we both stepped in. He has returned the favor to me on several occasions. He allows me to say the words that I would normally hide away.

My daily awesomer hack is this, invite people in to your mess. Connect on a deeper level. When a friend asks how you are. Tell them the real truth. Will this get your heart broken? Probably, so use this hack cautiously. Don’t just go around casting your peals before swine, but when the time is right, and a person has earned the invitation, don’t hold back.

Until next time, be awesome!

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Seduction of Bad Choices

Over the past six years, I have become more aware of my eating choices.  There comes a point in time when you realize that Fruit Loops aren’t really serving you.

It didn’t happen overnight. I didn’t just put down my Lucky Charms and pick up some Kale at the Farmer’s Market, and ride off into the sunset.

It happened bit by bit.

Until eight months ago, I was drinking three large sodas a day. THREE.


Because sugar and caffeine.

The thing is, when I stopped drinking them daily, I began to notice that I felt better after I got away from it.

80% of the time, soda doesn’t even appeal to me anymore. If you knew me then, your mind would be blown right now. I have been addicted to soda since I was a child.

But every once in awhile, it sounds good. The cold sugary fizz. The immediate high (as my body goes into panic mode(see also adrenaline)).

The past few weeks, I have eaten really cleanly. Nine servings of veggies a day. Meat as a condiment.

I had just returned from the grocery store, shopped without the list #badidea. When I got home, without a convenient plan for lunch, I saw that one of the kids had left a box of Frosted Flakes on the table. Yes, I know, I’m a horrible mom. Tony the Tiger was all “hey baby” and I was like “How you doin?” and I ate three bowls.  I never eat three bowls of ANYTHING, but Tony was like “you must eat me, I’m great.”

That morning, I had hopped out of bed at 6:30. I had jogged a 5K, and was out doing errands by 8:30. I felt amazing.

and then Tony.

When I finally told him to go away, I was stuffed, but my body was like, we need more food! So there I am fighting with my body, explaining there is NO MORE ROOM for food, but my body wasn’t hungry for the food, it wanted the nutrition.

I spent the rest of the afternoon, trying to remember my own name. #brainfog

It’s no wonder kids turn into little assholes if they eat that stuff. I was exhausted, and literally could barely function.

It was a great lesson. I don’t know how many years of my life I wasted, wandering around in a junk food stupor.

When you are just beginning your journey to a healthy lifestyle. You may wonder how you will get through your day without your sugar. How will you ever want to consume 9 servings of vegetables a day.

You do it gradually.

Every day is awesomer than the last.

Three things to remember.

  1. Your body may not be hungry for food, it may be starving for nutrition
  2. You don’t have to be perfect to be better
  3. Go to the grocery store with a list

Until next time, be awesome!

You Can’t Fail If You Don’t Try

Failure is an easy road to walk down.

We do it every day.

We pre-screen applicants for our perfect job by taking ourselves out of the pool.  Telling ourselves they’d never hire us.  Somewhere in our evolution the frontal lobe developed to give us the ability of forethought.  Knowing you shouldn’t jump off a cliff into a lion pit is a good thing to have.  A job interview is not the same thing.  Except that we make it so. Continue reading “You Can’t Fail If You Don’t Try”

How Had Being a Victim Somehow Become a Moral Failing?

This is your trigger warning for sex abuse and Christianity.

I don’t spend a lot of time in church. At this point, it’s as much about habit as it is anything. Habit and scheduling conflicts. As a divorced woman with kids who live several hours away, my weekends are mostly kids and God understands but my kids don’t. I would never tell my kids that my attending a church service has gotten in the way of me seeing them. Continue reading “How Had Being a Victim Somehow Become a Moral Failing?”