Anyone who has worked in any segment of the weight loss industry for longer than, oh, five minutes has heard the not an apology apology for somebody’s food choices. Or better yet, the “Shh, don’t tell my trainer” post of a flaming Baked Alaska on Instagram. Because we are food Nazi’s, or so it would seem.
“I don’t know HOW I could have gained 17 pounds this week. I bet it’s muscle.”
Yeah, I know, you ate nothing but air, and drank nothing but sunshine, and it was all grown organically, harvested humanely, and a priest watched over the entire process. I know. Plus, I’ve seen you in the gym all day ,every day, all week, so, OBVI it is muscle.
Give us a break.
First bit of very expensive advice. We aren’t idiots. I know, gym rats have that reputation, but we had to take a test, or several to get here. It was hard and there were big words in it.
Second piece of advice.
We don’t care.
I know you are going to lie. Why? Because you fear the Burpee. Because you don’t really know what you ate because you didn’t pay attention, or you didn’t keep track of “everything”.
You do not owe me an apology. Others might feel differently, but I can’t care more about you than you do.
Food is neither “bad” nor “good”. There is more healthy, and less healthy. Oreos may have zero nutritional value, but I will cut the bitch who tries to take them from me.
My role here is as an educator. I will talk your ear off about food choices, and pushups, and going for a walk once in awhile, or maybe a run. I will make you listen to my favorite book ever that will tell you that exercise will rewire your brain in order to avoid your addictions, and deficits. I may even buy you a jump rope, but no matter how hard I try, I can not control what you eat, or how much you move.
So, you want to hide the fact that you have 72 Cokes a week? A. Have you met me? B. Ask yourself why you need to hide that? You are a grown American adult. You live in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave. You can do whatever you want, and you are a badass amongst humans.Why lie?
You lie, because you know that you are making a choice to do something that YOU don’t feel is in your best interest. You know that a serving size of ice cream is WAAAAY less than the entire pint you just downed. You don’t owe me an apology. You owe yourself one.
While we as Americans are told from a very young age that we are free and brave, we don’t really incorporate that into our own thinking. Sure “we the people” are free and brave, but “me”? I am not free and brave. I(blah blah blah insert negative talk here). What if I do all that work and I don’t look like a supermodel? You know what, if I am not going to look like a supermodel I might as well hit the drive thru on the way home. Good things are for other people.
All of that is bullshit. I know that is not the conscious thought process every time you put food in your mouth, but your lack of deliberate thought in this area says that you don’t value yourself as highly as you ought.