How to Lose 1,000 Pounds – Chapter 1 – Walking

Today we are going to talk about walking. Walking is an easily accessible exercise for everyone.  After all, we do a little of it every day. In order to lose weight, we need to bump it up a bit.  Or start doing it with intention if we aren’t already.

For my deconditioned (trainer speak for out of shape) I recommend starting with five minutes of walking a day.  If you can’t find five minutes to take a walk, are you really even serious about getting started on your journey? Plus, five minutes isn’t scary or intimidating, for a lot of us, it’s hardly even past the mailbox.  So, that’s it.  Five minutes a day.

Your next question has to be, how far do I have to walk to lose 1,000 pounds.

Well, as you know by now, the title is a bit of a tease, no one really needs to lose 1,000 pounds, and if they do, they aren’t walking. Let’s break it down to how many five minute walks you will need to lose just one pound.

Let’s say you walk at a pace of twenty minutes a mile, or 4 mph.  Five minutes of walking will get you approximately one quarter mile.  Lose rule of thumb is that walking a mile burns 100 calories. Every body is different, so results may vary, but you burn approximately 25 calories in five minutes.

A pound is made of of 3500 calories.  3500 divided by 25 is 140.

In conclusion. You will lose one pound by walking for five minutes for 140 days.

Seem like too long to wait. Good news is you can half your days by doubling your time.  With 10 minutes of walking you’ll lose that pound in 70 days. 20 minutes of walking will have it gone in 35 days.

Put on your shoes and get out there.

Until next time, be awesome!

Annie is a fitness and nutrition UNstructor.  She has an affinity to help the PE dropouts get back into fitness by making it fun.  Annie opened Total Rebel Yoga in 2017 and offers health and weight loss coaching, personal training, fitness classes in Trapeze Yoga.

How to Lose 1,000 Pounds Intro

Ok, so I finally find a catchy title, and it’s not really applicable to 99% of the population.  VERY few people really need to lose 1,000 pounds. While my suggestions may help in that process, they will need a professional involved.

So, why that title.  Other than it’s catchy?

Well, my philosophy around weight loss is there is really not one way to do it.  What works for me, (intermittent fasting, running, not drinking Coke, getting divorced) may not work for you.  I’m never going to drink a green smoothy, but some people love them.  I’m never going to workout in a typical gym.  I’m never going to let a personal trainer yell at me to keep going until I barf. So, what I really mean, is there are a thousand ways to lose a pound.  But that sounded more boring.

Each Wednesday I will break down one way to lose a pound.  How far do you have to walk? How many sodas do you not have to drink? If you get divorced, will you lose weight too? I’ll talk about fasting. Surgery. Ingesting tape worms, because that’s a thing too, apparently.

I look forward to this journey with you and would love to know if you have success with any of my suggestions.

Until next time, be awesome.

Annie is a fitness and nutrition UNstructor. She has an affinity to help the PE dropout return to fitness by making it fun.  Annie opened her studio, Total Rebel Yoga, in 2017 and offers health coaching, personal training, and fitness classes, including Trapeze Yoga.

Let’s Have a Baby

Happy 10th day of 2018 people.

How are those resolutions coming along?

Some exceeding expectations? Some already forgotten?

2018 is just a baby. The possibilities are endless at this point.

We love babies. Babies are blank slates of endless possibility. Charles Manson was once a cute little bundle of blank slate.  So was George Washington, and Brad Pitt.

So were we all.

When we see babies we see potential, and legacy, and our future. We look past the sleepless nights, and the poop explosions, and the pain of childbirth and we see possibility.

Why is it that we don’t look at our own ideas like this. We have all had ideas that we fell in love with. Ideas that would change the world. Ideas that start out as little bundles of sleepless nights and stinky diapers and can grow up to be anything and for some reason we go straight to thinking they are Charles Manson, and we lock them away and never let them see the light of day.

What if, instead, we were to let them grow up just a little? Let them crawl, and walk, and someday maybe run.

What ideas are you conceiving, and gestating, and birthing? What ideas are you having fun with? Which ones are causing you excruciating pain right now? Which ones are being bratty teens that you hope move out and get a job soon?

In my attempt at Becoming Awesomer, I want to treat my ideas like a brand new baby. Something with endless possibility. Something that will grow up and take on a life of its own some day.

I encourage to do the same.

Until next time, be awesome!

New Year! New Me! Not Yet?

Well, it’s January 3, 2018 and I have failed at every single resolution I made for this year.

Million dollars? Nope, not even close.

Lose 40 lbs? Nope, I think I gained some weight.

Be happier?  What does that even mean? Be happier as compared to when?

Get my finances in order? Bwahahahahaha omg OK, I shouldn’t laugh. I mean how hard is it to keep track of seven dollars?

Let me check my list to see where else I’ve failed.

Physical goals, well I want to put my foot behind my head.  Haven’t done that.

Emotional goals, that would be happier, right? Still, don’t know.

Financial goals, relationship goals, business goals, heart goals, healing goals.

How could I have failed in so many areas so quickly?

So, what’s the deal with resolutions? Why do we make them? Do they affect change? When do we know we’ve succeeded or failed? When do they fall off the radar?

As a health and wellness coach, I can tell you that EVERYONE resolves to be healthier in the New Year, and yet we all find ourselves back in the very same place a year later, only with bigger aspirations as our ASSpiration got a little bigger again this year.

Here is what I have learned since I made my first mini-resolution over 10 years ago. I’m not going to bore you with SMART because people don’t even listen to fancy words that spell it out for you.

What I have learned is that you need an immediate win. As immediate as you can make it. Let’s say a resolution of yours is to eat at home more. Well, you don’t want to immediately go from 20 meals out a week to 20 meals in.  Let’s be realistic. Start with eating in once a week in January. If that works, bump it up to twice in February.  There isn’t a rule saying you can’t make it three times a week sometimes, but you want to be able to reach your short term goal EVERY TIME.  The wins will build on themselves and then you can stretch them.  Don’t start with the end.  Start with the end in mind.

If you want to lose 40 lbs. don’t start with that as a goal. Start with two if that’s what it takes to keep you focused.  I will lose two pounds this week seems pretty immediate and attainable, where 40 pounds this year, seems like a problem for September Annie.  2 pounds this week and every week will get you to 40 lbs by June ish.

I have eight categories I’m always working on.  There is no way I can stay focused and motivated by all of them all the time. Right now, I have to be focused on business.  I’m in the building phase of my coaching, and yoga. I am also making my healing a high priority for this year. For those of you who haven’t yet been introduced to my story, I was abused as a child. As the years go on, I realize how much it affects me. My default feeling is fear, which I only recently realized. The more I address it, the more it falls away. When it falls away for the last time, it will create so much more room in my life I’ll be able to take on more other stuff.

As much as I would like to sell you a coaching package and tell you that I can guaran damn tee that you will reach all of your goals after six easy payments of $1,000 I also know that you have to be in a place where you are ready to do that work. You have to be clear on what you want. You have to be clear on where you are at the moment. Then you can work on the stuff that is keeping you from getting from here to there. You don’t have to get there today. If you take a step closer you have succeeded.

Until next time, be awesome!

Everything is Copy

OK, so I’m about 40 years late to the Nora Ephron train, but that woman was spectacular.

Her favorite saying, and the documentary of her life, is “Everything is Copy”.

She posited that if you slip on a banana the world laughs at you and you are a victim, but, if you tell the story of yourself slipping on the banana you then become the hero of the story.

Which is what she did when her marriages failed.

She was a remarkable woman.

How do I learn from this?

What stories in my life am I playing the victim? How do I tell those stories to become the hero?

I feel that talking about my abuse has empowered me. I’m not the hero yet. But add this to the other things I’ve learned and I’m on my way.

Another thing I’ve learned this week is that people can only hurt you once.  After that, it’s you allowing them. Let’s say someone were to call me ugly. Ha ha right? I’m beautiful, and that wouldn’t hurt me, but there are definitely other soft spots for me. But let’s just say that they did, and it hurt me.

How do I deal with that?

First, is it true? Am I ugly.  This is an easy one for me. No. Moving on.

But that’s not how it usually works. How it usually works is that someone calls you ugly and you start obsessing over it. It’s probably my nose, I’ve always hated it. Or maybe it’s my eyes, or my hair color or style or the fact that I’m fat.  Three days later you’re in the plastic surgeons office getting a consult and guess what? They’ve moved on. They have literally given it zero more thought.  The only thing they did was pass the bully baton to you and you in turn took it and beat yourself senseless with it.

So, no longer will I accept the bully baton.

How am I going to go about doing this? Brainstorming here, as there are no best practices in place yet.

My first question for fears and hurts is always, “Is this true?” This practice came to me almost six years ago and it literally shifted my entire life. I realized my biggest fear was a big fat lie. Not saying that I’m perfect, but when I do apply it, it always helps.

So, what should my second question be? Let’s say it is true, or that maybe I’m not sure if it’s true. Let’s say I’m not confident in my looks, “Is it true that I’m ugly?” Hmmmm? I’m not sure.

The anti bully thing to do would be to turn that around and ask them. You’ll recall from my earlier scenario that I went and spent days obsessing about WHY did he say I’m ugly? Is it my hair, my nose, my eyes, my chin(s)? I think it would be great to be able to ask someone who just told me that I’m ugly why they thought so. “What exactly is it that you find ugly about me?”

Well, if that doesn’t shut them up, maybe they’ll tell you.  How’s that for turning an embarrassing slip on the proverbial banana peel into you becoming the hero of the story?

So, from now on, in addition to asking “Is it true?” I’m going to seek more details. Maybe it will be like when a guy once told me I had ugly feet. I wasn’t sure why he’d say that, so I asked. He didn’t like the lack of pedicure, which I grew up in Wyoming, my feet were in snow boots 300 days a year. Now, my friend (whose former husband had a foot thing) tells me I have stupidly sexy feet. Problem solved.

I can’t claim to be the hero of that story though. I wasn’t asking why he thought my feet were nasty for my own benefit, I was asking so I could make him like me more. Maybe the ends justify the means, I don’t know.  From now on, I’ll take it as a position of power and self knowledge.

So, “Is it true?” No. Then fuck off.

Maybe? Get more information. Maybe you can better yourself, maybe they are just trying to give you the bully baton and watch you beat yourself up over it.  If the former, you’ve bettered yourself, if the latter, fuck off.  As Brene’ Brown says, I will not negotiate my worth with you. I know who I am. I know the people who care about me. Those are the only opinions about me who matter to me.  If you would like your opinion to matter of me, earn your way into my inner circle. Otherwise. Fuck off.


Things that made me smile today

OK – I am all about the awesome and making more of it and sharing it and encouraging you to find your own so that we aren’t in a co-dependent relationship. I hardly know you.

Here are some of the things that made me smile today.

First. Rock, or is it The Rock? is upset that he isn’t the sexiest man alive.

I mean really. Who decides these things?  Well, I know The Rock decided he was upset about it, but who gets to determine the sexiest man alive.  Was there a poll?  I missed. it. I’ve never gotten gooey over The Rock. Dude your first name is The. What I find sexy is different than what you find sexy.

Anyway, that made me smile. I’m happy that The Rock doesn’t have bigger issues in his life to worry about right now.

2017 Xmas Tree

This tree is making me smile. It’s twinkly and perfect.  It’s my first jointly owned tree since my divorce and everything about it makes me smile.  You’ll notice we already opened the presents as we aren’t going to be together on Christmas.

Speaking of opening the presents. The other thing that made me smile was my gift.  It is a Joule. Which when I opened it, I wasn’t sure what it was.

It’s a sous vide. They are all the rage right now.  Sous vide, for those who don’t know, is French for vacuum cooking, or something.  Idk but it’s delicious. You put your food in a ziplock bag, lower the bag and the Joule in the water, open the Joule app on your phone, tell it what your cooking, push the button and come back 3-48 hours later and you have the most delicious food ever. EVER. We had pork tenderloin last night that was like butter.

I watched Kyle Cease Limitation Game today.  When JP Sears and he were on stage together.  Big smile.  Love them both.

Oh, and MeUndies has a new print. Fireworks.  You know I’m going to get me some of those.

What about you? What made you smile today?


Is it time for New Year’s resolutions yet?

I know. I know.  Resolutions suck. They last for all of three days and then they are forgotten like last weeks deli sammich. You remember you stuffed it behind the pickles, then a week later you throw it out half eaten.

Today I re-remembered that life isn’t an all or nothing endeavor. It’s mountains and valleys and side roads, and shiny roadside squirrels.

I also remembered 2011 when I had a stupid idea and did pushups for a year and people laughed but people still associate me with pushups.

This is where my shoulder devil reminds me of my two failed marriages. You can’t even get that right. Well, shoulder devil. Marriage is hard. And I’ve got issues.

So, stfu.

My friend reminded me that you just have to keep throwing shit out into the universe and seeing what comes back. So, my next adventure is going to be #annie365 – a year in the life of annie.

I’m going to show up every day and see what the universe has for me. See where it will take me.

Unlike a NY resolution, I’m making monthly resolutions. I have questions. Let’s see how the universe answers them. I have answers. Let’s see if the universe questions them.

I have less than two weeks to get my shit together. Haha, jokes on me.  My shit won’t be together.  I’m going to show up anyway and see what happens.

Until next time, be awesome!

Fighting Back

As a child, I experienced what psychologists call “adverse childhood experiences”, or ACE. ACE is defined as Abuse, Neglect, and Household Dysfunction. Further broken down into physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Physical or emotional neglect. Household dysfunction is mental illness, incarcerated parent, domestic violence, substance abuse and divorce.

From the outside looking in, my family was as Norman Rockwell as they come. Stay at home mom, no domestic violence between my parents who will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this month. We were in church whenever the doors were open, involved in extra curricular activities. We were afforded the opportunity to travel with church and school groups. We did family vacations and family pictures. Had you asked me at 19, I would have said I had the perfect family.

As crazy as it may sound, until the age of 19, I didn’t know that all children weren’t molested. My perpetrators were not inside my immediate family.  Close friends, close family, coaches, counselors, maybe others I don’t remember, what I do remember is that I always felt like I was wearing some sort of “come get it” sign, as often as it happened. Like I was inviting it, and was therefore responsible for it. What I know now is that I was groomed, and that child molesters can see the signs from a mile away. I now know that “innocent attempts” showed them that I was a perfect victim. At the age of 19 I innocently ran into one of my molesters. Had he not reacted the way he did I may have been in the dark about it for another decade. But this man, saw me with my baby (I’ll get into that more later) and looked at me with such disgust, like I had cheated on him. How dare I allow anyone else to touch me like that. In the same instance I recognized his guilt. He figured I MUST know what he’d done to me.  I didn’t. Until that moment. That moment opened up a flood gate of memories. Memories of being naked when I shouldn’t have been. Memories of things I shouldn’t know at ages I shouldn’t have known them. Oral sex jokes and panty checks from men.  Does this count as only one Adverse Childhood Experience?

As I said earlier, my family was in church whenever the doors were open. Unfortunately, the church is just a building with people in it. I didn’t have the spiritual connection to it. What I did have was a lot of pressure from the people inside to remain “pure” for my yet unknown husband. There did not seem to be any exemption from the “purity” clause if you were not a willing participant.  What I carried with me throughout my childhood, was that I was not pure. What I knew of rape is that it’s always a masked man in a dark alley, and you have to say “no” or it means yes. I knew nothing of dissociating, nothing of surviving the moment. I knew I hadn’t followed the rules. I knew I was ruined before I even had a chance.

This leads me to “the baby”.  Good girls don’t have sex. So good girls don’t seek out protection from pregnancy or other side effects of sexual encounters. I of course was a “good girl” who became a parent at 18. This baby is now an amazing young woman, but no one deserves an 18 year old mom who doesn’t have her own shit figured out. Through no fault of her own, she is associated with the shame that I took upon myself for not living up to whatever the fuck it was I was supposed to.

Which brings me back to my own childhood. My mother married right out of high school. Had three kids in three years. Was this something she wanted, or just what happened? I do believe that she has suffered for years from depression. My parents argued a lot when us oldest three were young. I remember the three of us sitting in the bedroom I shared with my sister wondering where we would live if they got divorced. Dad maybe, but he couldn’t cook. I hoped he would take me. I would learn how to cook, and we could live in peace. My first memory of my mother is of her throwing me across the kitchen for playing with my milk. I was a toddler. I know exactly how many times she hugged me genuinely. Once. In sixth grade. I had cleaned my room. I learned early that the best way to avoid the wrath of my mother, was to avoid my mother. My brother got the brunt of it. When I look back at the pictures. We all look depressed. I can see its progression through my siblings. At a certain age, we just go blank. We had food on the table, and the best clothes, though I suspect that was more for the audience of the public than it was for our well being.

This is not a blame my mother post. I suspect she did the best she could. I have traced the sexual abuse throughout my father’s family, but my mother’s family remains a mystery. I see the patterns of abuse that drew my parents together. While I never knew my dad’s father, my dad’s mother is a very strong woman.  I suspect she was the dominant spouse. As is the case in my mother’s family. As is the case in my parents marriage. I see it playing out in my own generation. I’ve seen it since my early twenties. I have spent my life trying to reverse it in my own life. With mixed success.

Which brings me to today. I am 46. I am twice divorced. I have six kids, and I can tell you that while I was the best parent I could be, I may not have been the best parent. I didn’t have time to get my shit together, and I kept piling kid after kid onto my life. I have three adult children who are absolutely amazing and are doing well despite me.  My three minor children are with their father, he and I decided when we divorced that he was the best, most stable option. I am forever grateful for him for taking on the daily grind.

What else I can tell you about my today, is that I am finally able to focus on getting my shit together. Finally able to deal with my own trauma and depression. My Adverse Childhood Experience score is 5. For reference, a 4 will 8x your chance of becoming an alcoholic. It will 6x your chance for depression. More than 90% of people with an ACE score of 4 or more will be on antidepressants. It will 5x your risk of perpetuating domestic violence. It will 6x your chance of being raped. It doubles your risk for teen pregnancy. Doubles your risk for serious financial problems. And more than doubles every risk based disease such as heart diseases, lung disease, liver disease.  I had a teen pregnancy. I have been raped. I have had serious financial problems. I am probably clinically depressed. I do not have a substance abuse problem. Though I am very diligent regarding even the most minor “pick me ups” because I know it is fertile ground in which these seeds are being planted.

The reason for this post is this. I can finally feel myself fighting back. I can finally pick apart the shame that was put upon me by my abusers. I did not invite, nor am I responsible for the abuse I suffered. You need not to have fought off your attacker to have been raped. I know I dissociate and I now know when I do it and how to fight back. I know that I am absolutely enough. I don’t need to validate my life with the opinions of others. (OK, I’m working on that one). For the first time in forever I am not standing in my way.

What Really Matters When Becoming Awesomer

I am often accused of being authentic, though I think my authenticity is often confused with saying things that most people know not to in social settings. Authentic is more about being real, despite the consequences. I trend towards skewing the story to my favor, like we all do.

I have been struggling for the past eleven years, four years, two years, and more directly the past two weeks. I have the honor and privilege to care for a mentally ill child. To fight for, advocate for, to be a mom to someone who doesn’t understand the weight of that word. Two weeks ago he tried to kill me during a break from reality. When reality returned, there I was signing him into a psychiatric facility. Watching him really want a mommy as they took him away.

Even though the doctor fears he is a threat to my safety, the insurance will not cover anything beyond an immediate threat. Meaning. He has to try to kill me, again. I’m guessing this is the way it will be until he succeeds.

This is not the first child I’ve dealt with who has had these issues. I can’t even count on one hand the number, this IS the first time I’ve been concerned for my own safety on an ongoing basis.

I have letter after letter stating that “we have exhausted our available resources” as it concerns my child. This afternoon I have to call the abuse hotline on my child. Knowing that it will be turned on me. That they will suggest another 12 weeks of parenting classes even though I have over 500 hours under my belt. That my “book” that now nears 60 pages of incident reports, psychologist recommendations, psychiatry recommendations, police reports, truancy records, and various such things will fall on deaf ears as we go down the list of services I have yet to employ.

At the end of the day, I know that I, and I alone, will be watching as my child, who really wants a mommy, who does not understand the weight of that word, IIIIII will be watching him, look at me and wonder where I am as they take him to a more secure facility.

And the next day, I will get up and fight for my own sanity. I will fight to keep my own health.  I will fight for strong and healthy minds and bodies. I will remind myself that these are the battles we are preparing to fight when we are Becoming Awesomer. We want the strength and the energy to live in this beautiful messy world, regardless of the size of our dress.

Until next time,

Be Awesome!


I am Annie. I am a Fitness and Nutrition UNstructor. I help women unlearn the bad habits, bad science, and misleading marketing that is keeping them from reaching their health goals. Join me over on Facebook for more awesomeness.

Unlearning Good and Bad Food

Where the notion of “good” and “bad” foods came from, I do not know. I suspect it is from a self righteous kale eater, who is a sad person because they know steak is awesome.

Even when we try to eat “good”, salad anyone? We end up sad and hungry, or we douse it with so much canola oil and corn syrup, I’m talking to you commercially available salad dressing. It is completely exhausting to try to figure out what is “good” and what is “bad” so we throw our hands up in defeat.

Here’s an idea. Why don’t we unlearn the concept of good and bad food. Let’s not even worry about the food. That’s right.

Do not put judgmental labels on your food.

Let’s think about what our goals are. Are you trying to lose weight? Are you trying to be healthy? Are you wanting to be thin for the rest of your life, or are you just trying to look smokin hot for your class reunion?

While we are at it, let’s rethink how we talk about our bodies. How we treat our bodies.

If you look in the mirror and say words like “disgusting” are you going to hold your actions to a higher standard than your words. Change your thoughts, change your words, change your actions.



Now, with those things in mind, let’s start thinking about the food that we are putting in our pie holes.

My goal is that I want to be healthy and happy.

I achieve that goal by eating salad, and ice cream. Just not at the same time.

Sometimes eating salads for four days straight makes me happy. Sometimes I want a steak. Sometimes I want to chew on an Oreo, because they are delicious.

If our goal is to make it to the class reunion in a size two, we are going to approach it completely differently than if our goal is to be a size 10 for the rest of our lives.

Now, I could make a flow chart, but ain’t nobody got time for that. So, you’ll have to think a little harder.

If you give a girl a cookie….should she eat it?

Is it a good cookie or a bad cookie?

Whuh? It’s a fucking cookie.

Will this cookie help or hurt her long term goal?

Well, I want to be happy and healthy. The cookie will make me happy.

Ok, will it make you healthy?


Which goal is more important right now. Happy or healthy?

I don’t know.

Ok, when is the last time you had a cookie?

Four weeks ago, last, I don’t remember.

Have the cookie.

If the answer is 4 minutes ago, don’t have the cookie.

It’s not whether the cookie is good or bad, it’s how sugar and flour and chocolate chips and M&M’s are going to fit into the whole picture. If they are part of the whole picture, go ahead and enjoy it. If they ARE the whole picture, maybe skip this one.

Remember, you are a grown ass woman, you get to decide what you eat. YOU.  Look at your goals. Look at your thoughts, your words, your behavior, the big picture. Be honest with what is important to you.

Until next time,

Be Awesome!!


My name is Annie.  I am a Fitness and Nutrition UNstructor. I help women unlearn the bad habits, bad science, and misleading marketing that is keeping them from reaching their health goals.  Please join us on Facebook.  If you would like to join our tribe of fabulously wonderful women, join our private group.  If you love chocolate, head over to Bulletproof, it’s on sale!